Did or Dose Anyone Get Nervous?

I pose this question to all students of Silent River.

It is really strange that everytime before class like around 4:00 I start to get nervous about going to class. I am thinking it's because I lack self confidence with my skills which have come a long way since I first started so, I am not sure why it happens to me each week. It's not like I am walking into a room full of strangers, these are my classmates and I feel very comfortable around them. Plus I have been in kung fu now for about two years or so.

Once I get to class and start into the warm up, I am fine. Once we start working on what we are doing that night I am also fine, although sometimes I feel frustrated with myself and vow to practice more and other times I amaze myself but, I am sure we all feel that way at times.

So, I just thought I would put that out there to see if anyone else ever felt like this. It's strange but, hopefully its just another faze of life's little tests that I need to work through. I guess what doesn't break us makes us stronger or something like that.

Susan Crawford

The Storm Before the Calm

Right now all of you are probably thinking isn't it "The Calm before the Storm?"

Well for me right now in my life it is the storm before the calm. Someone very close to me is going through a stressful time right now and he has shut down and worst of all he has shut me out of his pain. Some of you may know who I am talking about and for those who don't, it's my husband Brian. Near the end of October Brian's mom passed away.

I want to help him and make all the guilt, stress and pain go away but, he won't let me help. I feel like I am up against a brick wall and I can't go through it, over it or even break it down. This is affecting our relationship and I am worried he will never get past his sorrow. I know it's going to take time and I appreciate that but, I want to snap my fingers and make it all go away but, it doesn't work like that in life. It takes baby steps every day.

For now I have to let him grieve and give him all the space he needs even if it's hard for me to do that. Don't get me wrong I do want him to take all the time he needs to heal, it's just hard watching it and not being able to do anything about it.

Susan Crawford

Happy 2011

Well just thought I would say Happy New Year to my Kung Fu Family.

I can't believe we are in a new year already and 2011 to boot. I remember when it was going to be 2000 and the concern as to what was going to happen in the world. That was 11 years ago, my time flies.

I have now completed my fifth massage treatment for my back and have been told that my muscles are still pretty tight but, my lower back is starting to feel a little better now. The muscles that are tight are my glutes, the muscles below my shoulder blades and close to my armpits at the back, and the muscles on top of my shoulders along side my neck and a few other muscles. The most excellent comment was that I have gained muscle and that made me feel good. I owe that to my kung fu classes.

I am looking forward to going back to class but will miss my classmates that were tested for their blue belts before xmas break. Congrats to Mr Donohue, Mrs. Laars, and Mr. Chervanka. Good Luck to you all and have fun in your new class.

Well not much more than that so, see you all at the Kwoon.

Cheers!!!

Susan Crawford