Struggling

Well what to say. I can honestly say I am struggling with practicing my kung fu. This is not the first time I have journaled about this problem. I am not sure why this is happening. It's like there is a chain attached to my back and then attached to the couch and I can't seem to break free from it. There always seems like there is something else that needs to be done when I get home from work and there is no chain holding me back from those things. If it isn't animals that need feeding, its' laundry, making lunches for the next day, making supper etc etc etc. By the time I am done, I am so tired I just don't feel like doing anything else.

Then it's time for kung fu classes and I get so embarrassed with myself and I go home disappointed because I feel my skills suck and it's all because I am not practicing. I know I need to do this to progress with my training and to get ahead of the game but, I am struggling. I have a spot in the basement all set up for this sort of thing but, I am sure my kick bag has a lot of dust on it right now. I really think that's why I get nervous when I go to class too because I know I am not practicing and I know the instructors can tell who is and who isn't.

I like kung fu and I don't regret staying in kung fu. I enjoy going to class and talking to the students in my class. I feel really comfortable in class now unlike when I first went to the orange belt class but, I have to break that chain that's attached to my back with respect to my training. Maybe when I get home I should be practicing first and everything else can just wait. It's all still going to be there when I am done so, maybe I have found a solution to break that chain.

Thanks for listening to my rant and rave.

Susan Crawford